Dating For The Disabled
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Who Else Wants To Be Successful With Dating Disabled?
Are you sick of seemingly being on the bottom of the dating pile amongst your friends and work colleagues, still single after years of trying to find the perfect match, while everyone gets coupled off, married, and then have a couple of babies?
You don’t really know where you’re going wrong. You’re not bad-looking, and you think you’re pretty funny. All of your friends tell you you’re funny all the time, anyway. You have a good job, no too-weird habits, and you have a lot to offer a guy. You just don’t seem to have much luck meeting them, and when you do meet them, they are instantly put off by the fact that you are deaf.
Being a single, dating a disabled girl is definitely hard work, especially when the disability is something as intense as losing your sense of sound, or sight!
Communication is vital in a relationship, and most men have the common misconception that dating a deaf, or otherwise disabled woman, is too much hard work to handle. Admittedly, there are certain restrictions and changes that will need to be made to accommodate the disability, but it isn’t the be-all and end-all of your life…
That’s the thing most people have trouble understanding.
It’s hard to see beyond the wheelchair when you don’t know the guy sitting in it, and it’s hard to look past the hearing aid when the girl is so intently lip-reading you, you can’t work out whether she’s happy or sad. Plus, you have a habit of looking away when you talk to girls…. That makes dating a deaf girl almost impossible!
One of the very first things that you need to be able to do in order to be successful with dating disabled sites is learn to get on with life, almost as if your disability doesn’t exist. When you are happy and competent, happy with your own skills and loving life, people will be attracted to you, and when they are attracted to your positive outlook, they will want to talk to you. When they talk to you, they’ll get to know you a little better, and when this happens, love can flourish.
Sadly, the dating world is a very shallow one, as much as you would like to think nobody even notices your disability anymore, the people that don’t know you, will.
It’s how you deal with things that will make you look more appealing to the opposite sex, and if you laugh difficult and awkward situations off, a potential new mate won’t be able to help but fall in love with your personality. After all, isn’t that what really matters?
In order to be successful with deaf dating or disabled dating, you need to be happy with yourself. You need to know and appreciate your own limitations but at the same time, never stop trying to better yourself. With a positive outlook for life, people will want to be a part of yours!
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Dating Tips For Disabled Demystified
Smart, slightly sexy outfit – check.
Hair done, with a fresh blow-dry – check.
Makeup done, a little extra eye-liner added for good measure – check.
You’re ready for your exciting first date with a new HOT guy, and you’re about to head out the door. Something stops you in your tracks. You’re not sure you want to do this. You’re not sure how he will take you. Will he like you? Will he like your outfit? Do your shoes go with your wheelchair….?
Dating as a disabled woman is hard work, there is no denying that. With every blind date you set out on, every friend-of-a-friend that you meet up with, you have that bombshell to deal with every time…
“Oh, Kat didn’t tell you I was disabled? Well, I am. I have multiple sclerosis, and occasionally I need to use a wheelchair.”
It’s so awkward, isn’t it? Plus your friends don’t make life any easier, do they? They couldn’t have just told this guy he was heading out to indulge in a spot of disabled dating? Really?
If you’ve ever fallen victim to this bad blind-date set up, don’t worry. Check out these dating tips for disabled demystified!
If you’re being set up on a blind-date, ask for his number, or at least request that he be given yours to arrange the date. At least then you can subtly drop into conversation “The restaurant will need to be somewhere wheelchair-friendly in case I’m having a bad day” so that you can gauge whether or not he knows yet.
Some men can find a disabled woman an intimidating creature, mostly because they aren’t really sure how to deal with it. They either don’t know, or aren’t sure, and rather than ask (and risk making themselves look stupid), they’d just look the other way and hope that that moment slips away unnoticed. If they look uncomfortable, crack a joke. It gets me out of every dodgy situation every time.
I once asked one guy why he ‘didn’t feel he could date a disabled woman’, those were his words by the way, and he responded that he felt I would be too much hard work. He originally tried to blow me off with the sentence “I don’t know if I’m the right guy to take care you” and it made me feel more than a little patronised, if I’m honest. I asked what the real reason was and after a bit of squirming, he finally came out and said it. I’m glad he did, as it made me appreciate something – I would rather be told the truth, as harsh as it would be to hear, than chase after something I thought was real, and wasn’t.
When a guy feels uncomfortable around me now on a first (or subsequent) date, I simply ask him what he’s thinking, or I tell him what I’m thinking instead. Honesty is very refreshing, and after years of being told there was ‘Nothing wrong’ (stupid ex), I realised that time-wasters are simply people I would have zero interest in.
If you are looking for a great disabled dating web site that caters for the UK and Europe, check out DisabledDatingClub.eu. It might not look like much, but it has LOADS of wonderful members.
Get your honesty card out the way, and you’re offering a nice guy a get-out clause if he needs to take it. He might like you, but some people don’t have the capacity to deal with a disability. Wouldn’t you rather he just walked away now?
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3 Best Practices For Disability Dating
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3 Disabled Dating Tips that Guarantee Success
Right boys and girls, if you’ve had no luck with your recent disabled dating attempts, its time to dust yourself off, get back into the ring, and try again. Just because you have had a few bad dates, doesn’t mean that you are knocked out of the match entirely, and sometimes it just pays to take a break, do some quiet reflection, and figure out what is going wrong.
Could you be meeting the wrong men?
Are you attracting the wrong women?
Are you finding that your disability is getting in the way too much, or that partners aren’t able to overcome it?
Whatever the reason, where there is a problem, there is always a solution, and here are the top 3 disabled dating tips that guarantee success to solve any issue:
1 – They always seem to become disinterested when they find out I have a disability, and I can’t seem to date them for longer than one, occasionally two, dates.
It’s not a nice situation but sadly, we live in a society where judgments are made all too quickly, and all too easily. Rather than wondering why the dates are running away when they find out you have a disability, try asking yourself why you’re not being entirely upfront about the disability in the first place?
Rather than waiting until the first date, or just before it, to drop the bombshell that you are differently-abled, be upfront about it in your internet dating profile page, or make sure you have a photo that shows you in a wheelchair, for example, if you use one.
At least the dates won’t waste your time, turning up for one or two dates, before brushing you off and moving onto someone new.
Seriously applicants only please!
2 – They say they are fine with my disability but whenever I meet new dates, we can’t seem to make it past week three or four!
Is there even the slightest chance that you could be going after the wrong kind of dates?
OK, think about this – if you are a 20-something girl in a wheelchair, that loves to munch out on junk food on Sundays with your loved one, lazing around on the couch, watching bad TV, what are you going to have in common with the 28 year old gym-freak, that hasn’t had a pizza in 6 years, or relaxed in front of the TV in months? He might be really hot, what you have nothing in common.
Maybe you’re just going after the wrong kind of man? Maybe you should try looking at men you wouldn’t normally date? You may find you have so much more in common!
3 – I can’t seem to find an appropriate date-type when I agree to meet a guy from the internet!
Admittedly, sometimes it’s hard having a disability and part of coming to terms with it is the understanding that sometimes, life may go a little differently for you.
The good news is that now, many places are more disability-friendly, making dating for the disabled a whole load easier, but another great tool at your disposal is the internet. You’ll be amazed at what new and fresh ideas will pop up when you Google something like “disabled-friendly date ideas in [your town]”
