• Disability Dating Club
    Disabled Dating,  Disabled Person,  Disabled Singles

    Top FAQ’s About Dating A Disabled Person

    As a group of friends, all with a disability, all looking for love, we’ve heard pretty much every question you can think of when it comes to dating a disabled person, and we thought it might be really handy to list them all down to give some of you a helping hand.

    Some of these questions are pretty cringe-evoking, so may we suggest not asking these out loud to prevent causing offence?

    Andrew was asked this question from a girl he was on a second date with – Are you still able to have sex?

    He had multiple sclerosis and occasionally needed to rely on a wheelchair but as far as his manhood was concerned, everything worked pretty well, and he’d had no complaints up until that point. You’d be amazed at how many times that question comes up, and although occasionally the answer will be “no”, more often than not, the question just causes offence. Wait for your date to bring up any problems, it’s not down to you to bring it up.

    Kate was asked this question, just as she was getting ready to go on her first date with a man her best friend had set her up with. He sent her this via text – Doesnt it annoy you that you cant do what your partner is up to all the time, if you date someone that isnt disabled?

    Her answer to this was: No, not until an idiot like you brings it up!

     

    In her eyes, she was just as able to do everything a potential partner could do, despite her restriction of being blind. She had been blind for her entire life, and had learned to live with it in the best way that she could. An active girl, she always had a boyfriend on the go, and for someone to turn around and ask her whether or not she basically felt inadequate because of her disability really ruined her day. She didn’t date for a whole month after that, just out of protest!

    Being really condescending to a disabled person about their disability is something your mother should have taught you is very rude. There is no need for it, and what makes it worse is the fact this guy actually assumed she had more limitations with regards to her disability than she let herself have. Kate had never let being blind getting in the way of her life, love life or otherwise, and for a man to suggest just that really got to her.

    It should teach you a very vital lesson – don’t assume that someone that is disabled can’t do things, and never, ever patronise or condescend them. They are used to getting ‘grief’ because of their disability, and they’ll likely have a killer comeback that’ll leave you looking foolish.

    In short, the best way to master dating a disabled person is to open your mind. Not every disability means that restrictions will be made on your relationship or your love life, and dating a disabled person is no different from dating a regular-abled person. Some of your dates may change, but that’s about it!

  • Disability Dating Tips
    Disability Dating,  Disabled Dating

    Smart Tips To Master Dating With A Disability

    Just because you have a disability, doesn’t mean your relationship has to have one too, so if you want to master dating with a disability, there are a few things you should know.

    Believe it or not, you can successfully have a relationship with you are disabled and your partner is not, and just like most things in life, it all comes down to compromise. When it comes down to it though, you’ll be amazed at how little things need to change when it comes to your love life.

    If you are disabled, looking for love in a world of ‘regular’ abled people, there are a few things you’ll need to know. One thing in particular is the amount of times you will get asked a very simple question – “Can you still have sex?”

    It doesn’t matter what your disability is, to a certain degree, you will always be able to have sex. A friend of mine was once asked if his penis still worked because he had been amputated from the knee down on both limbs. He walked away from that girl, and although we all laugh about it with him now, at the time, we didn’t blame him.

     

    People come across as rude when they have awkward questions in the disabled dating world, and the earlier you learn to take the rude comments and questions on the chin, not letting them bug you or get you down, the better. Take it with a pinch of salt, and learn to laugh off the uncomfortable moments, and your dating life will get a whole load better for it.

    At the same time, don’t disregard people too soon, One friend of  ours, Samantha, once ditched a guy because he was too nervous about taking her to bed. She has spina bifida, and at times, it really wasn’t nice for her. It was more an awkward, ‘I don’t know how to ask this question” at the time for him, but for her, after a bad week with three bad blind dates, she’d had enough and snapped. Throwing her water at him, she rolled her way out of that bar in her wheelchair, and refused to call him back for two weeks.

    She forgave him, of course, and they have since gotten married but it just goes to show – don’t take offence right off the bat as sometimes, it’s just a misunderstanding.

    You will need to remember to take your time with disabled dating, and remember that you are going to need to adjust to this new person in your life, as well as them accommodating you too. It may take a little longer for them, bearing in mind your disability and all, but with a bit of patience and a positive attitude, you could be well on your way to finding love in no time at all. Not so difficult to master dating with a disability!

  • Wheelchair Dating
    Disability Dating,  Disabled Dating

    Greatest Challenges of Disability Dating

    One of the greatest challenges that you will face when dating as a disabled person is the confusion and misconceptions surrounding the topic of disability dating as a whole. Its crazy; the bizarre myths that people will believe and even spread, and just as most things in life, when people don’t understand something, they’ll just make up fluff to fill in the gaps.

    That is exactly what has happened with the world of disability dating; a strangely bizarre taboo (still) in a world where we are all meant to be so sexually ‘free’.

    Every part of the dating experience, especially with internet dating, has so many questions attached to it, that it can be hard to know where to find all the answers. For example, how open are you meant to be about your disability? Should you mention it in your profile? Is it that much of a big deal? Do people even care about it?

    Whether or not you disclose details of your disability when looking at internet dating is completely down to you, and is a decision only you can make. However, if it has an impact on your life, and changes the way you do or feel about certain things, it is going to have an impact on any potential suitors that come along, and it will change the way they do or feel about certain things too.

    If you have a missing limb, for example, or rely on a wheelchair or a walking stick to get around, you are not going to be able to go rock-climbing on your first date, and paint-balling probably won’t be a great idea either. You will need to be realistic about your dating life now, and that’s something very difficult to come to terms with if the disability itself is a relatively new one. It’s difficult to go from having two arms, to only having one after a car crash (like Sam, 28 from Kent), and it would be foolish to think that kind of thing wouldn’t have an impact on your dating life.

    If you’re not quite brave enough to physically type the words into that little ‘About Me’ box, take a slightly more subtle approach. If you use a wheelchair sometimes, for example, include a picture of you in the wheelchair in the ‘Images’ section of your profile. This at least gives potential dates the chance to have a conversation with you about it, and also gives them a slight indication of what news could come. Of course disabled dating is going to have some challenges. It wouldn’t be classed as a disability otherwise, would it?

    If you do manage to get over your fears and throw yourself to the little fish in the big disabled dating pond, there are more challenges to come, but these would be the same with any dating situation. That hot guy might not like you face to face, and you aren’t really sure if that one you were talking to last night is as good-looking or as funny as you first thought he was anyway…

    Sadly, that’s dating life in general, not just disabled dating life!  If you fancy a shot, why not check out Disabled Dating Review which has reviews on all the best disability dating websites. Our personal favourite is Disabled Dating Club, which has been around for years.

  • Disabled Dating Sites
    Disability Dating,  Disabled Dating Club,  Disabled Singles

    Avoid The Top 4 Disabled Dating Agency Mistakes

    When you click on the ‘Register Now’ button on that disabled dating website, doesn’t your heart start to race? Perhaps your hands get clammy? Maybe you’re not sure you’re doing the right thing? It’s been a while since you last dipped your toes into the dating pond, and you’re not even sure you know how to do it anymore.

    Guys, there’s no need to panic. Whether you’re using a disabled dating agency style website, like Disability Dating Club or a regular-style dating site online, there are a few mistakes that many people commonly make, and with a bit of help and advice, you can make sure you avoid them!

    With the right bit of guidance, you could be well on your way to SUCCESSFUL disabled dating in no time at all!

    Negativity – It’s a bad thing. If you are a negative person, in a negative mood, with a negative outlook on life, how are you meant to find love? Even the hottest, funniest, most-abled, talented person in the world would have a hard time finding love if they were negative 24/7.

     

    Being disabled does pose challenges from time to time, but it doesn’t necessarily need to define you as a person, and it doesn’t mean that you should let it interfere with your love life. If you feel negative about your disability, or having a hard time believing that someone could fall for you without you being able to do all the things that most other people can do, it’s not online dating you need, it’s a counsellor.

    You need to work out how to make yourself relatively happy before you can expect someone else to be happy with you. You can rely on someone else to boost your mood either. That’s the wrong reason to try disabled dating.

    B-O-R-I-N-G – Just because you are disabled, doesn’t mean you need to be boring. So what if you can’t go rock-climbing on your first date. You can go to the zoo and let’s face it, who doesn’t love the zoo? Your disability may mean you need to change things sometimes, but it doesn’t mean you need to live a boring life. No one wants a boring partner, do they?

    Ex-Bashing – If you’re still hung up on your ex, cautiously trying to move on but not really wanting to, talking about her at every possible opportunity, you’re not going to get that second-date call back. You’re lucky you even got to the first date in the first place.

    So what, you’ve been hurt. Haven’t we all?

    No Confidence – We know that being differently-abled makes it hard sometimes, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t a gorgeous, smart, funny, amazing person. Nothing turns a girl off more than a man that has ZERO confidence, so it might be time to start looking at your image, and how you can change it to make you feel better about yourself, before you think about taking snaps for your disabled dating internet dating profile.

    Above all of these tips, you should always be yourself. Oh, and try to remember to have fun too. What’s the point in looking for love if you can’t have a bit of fun along the way? The whole thing is meant to be fun…. Right?