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How To Find The Right Disabled Dating Websites For You
Just because you have a disability doesn’t mean that dating isn’t for you. A lot of people find it very difficult come to terms with a sudden disability, and for those that have had theirs since birth, it’s still no easier when it comes to finding a potential new mate. Let’s be honest about this – dating was hard enough to begin with, without throwing in something that adds MORE challenges!
The good news is that there are some GREAT disabled dating websites out there, and when you sign up to one of these, you are getting the ‘surprise’ element of your disability out the way. You have the chance to meet someone with the same outlook on life as you do, with the same or similar restrictions as you do because of their own disability. When you sign up to a disabled dating website, its pretty clear what you’re going to be getting, so there are no nasty surprises.
There are a couple of things that may sway your thoughts when it comes to finding the right sites for you. Do you want to pay for the site, for example? You can get plain and simple dating sites designed for differently-abled people, and they work in exactly the same way as other ‘regular’ dating sites.
There are many of these free sites out there, but there’s always the risk of bonkers people messaging you out the blue, either with a fetish for disabled dating, or just someone so weird, you couldn’t face meeting them. There is also a higher chance of getting scammed on these freebie sites, so you must ensure you are protecting yourself and your personal details as much as possible.
There are some more in-depth disabled dating sites out there; ones that offer agency-style services where you meet up with the organisation, and are matched up with potential partners based on what a REAL person thinks, rather than what a computer puts together. With such a delicate subject as disabled dating, sometimes that little personal touch can make all the difference.
You’re going to want to make sure that you use a website that is legitimate, and one that keeps your details safe. Always make sure you do some research of your own before signing up to any website, and see what other people have said about it before you join. Most online dating sites, disabled or otherwise, have online reviews somewhere so simply Googling the name of the site followed by the word ‘review’ is enough to give you a lot of the information you need to know. Or better still, check out this wonderful disabled dating reviews web site that we found called Disabled Dating Review.
Some disabled dating websites give you more options than others, with the chance to play games online, video chat, send gifts (virtual or otherwise) and more. If you’re looking for a website that will do the job of many, these with their relatively inexpensive membership fees aren’t a bad idea. When you have the option of playing games, not everything is about talking, and it gives the perfect chance to check out how competitive you both are!
If you are looking for niche disabled dating like for deaf dating or wheelchair dating, we recommend Deaf Dating Club and Wheelchair Dating Club. They have been around for many, many years and are well established.
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Dating Tips For Disabled Demystified
Smart, slightly sexy outfit – check.
Hair done, with a fresh blow-dry – check.
Makeup done, a little extra eye-liner added for good measure – check.
You’re ready for your exciting first date with a new HOT guy, and you’re about to head out the door. Something stops you in your tracks. You’re not sure you want to do this. You’re not sure how he will take you. Will he like you? Will he like your outfit? Do your shoes go with your wheelchair….?
Dating as a disabled woman is hard work, there is no denying that. With every blind date you set out on, every friend-of-a-friend that you meet up with, you have that bombshell to deal with every time…
“Oh, Kat didn’t tell you I was disabled? Well, I am. I have multiple sclerosis, and occasionally I need to use a wheelchair.”
It’s so awkward, isn’t it? Plus your friends don’t make life any easier, do they? They couldn’t have just told this guy he was heading out to indulge in a spot of disabled dating? Really?
If you’ve ever fallen victim to this bad blind-date set up, don’t worry. Check out these dating tips for disabled demystified!
If you’re being set up on a blind-date, ask for his number, or at least request that he be given yours to arrange the date. At least then you can subtly drop into conversation “The restaurant will need to be somewhere wheelchair-friendly in case I’m having a bad day” so that you can gauge whether or not he knows yet.
Some men can find a disabled woman an intimidating creature, mostly because they aren’t really sure how to deal with it. They either don’t know, or aren’t sure, and rather than ask (and risk making themselves look stupid), they’d just look the other way and hope that that moment slips away unnoticed. If they look uncomfortable, crack a joke. It gets me out of every dodgy situation every time.
I once asked one guy why he ‘didn’t feel he could date a disabled woman’, those were his words by the way, and he responded that he felt I would be too much hard work. He originally tried to blow me off with the sentence “I don’t know if I’m the right guy to take care you” and it made me feel more than a little patronised, if I’m honest. I asked what the real reason was and after a bit of squirming, he finally came out and said it. I’m glad he did, as it made me appreciate something – I would rather be told the truth, as harsh as it would be to hear, than chase after something I thought was real, and wasn’t.
When a guy feels uncomfortable around me now on a first (or subsequent) date, I simply ask him what he’s thinking, or I tell him what I’m thinking instead. Honesty is very refreshing, and after years of being told there was ‘Nothing wrong’ (stupid ex), I realised that time-wasters are simply people I would have zero interest in.
If you are looking for a great disabled dating web site that caters for the UK and Europe, check out DisabledDatingClub.eu. It might not look like much, but it has LOADS of wonderful members.
Get your honesty card out the way, and you’re offering a nice guy a get-out clause if he needs to take it. He might like you, but some people don’t have the capacity to deal with a disability. Wouldn’t you rather he just walked away now?
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3 Best Practices For Disability Dating
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3 Disabled Dating Tips that Guarantee Success
Right boys and girls, if you’ve had no luck with your recent disabled dating attempts, its time to dust yourself off, get back into the ring, and try again. Just because you have had a few bad dates, doesn’t mean that you are knocked out of the match entirely, and sometimes it just pays to take a break, do some quiet reflection, and figure out what is going wrong.
Could you be meeting the wrong men?
Are you attracting the wrong women?
Are you finding that your disability is getting in the way too much, or that partners aren’t able to overcome it?
Whatever the reason, where there is a problem, there is always a solution, and here are the top 3 disabled dating tips that guarantee success to solve any issue:
1 – They always seem to become disinterested when they find out I have a disability, and I can’t seem to date them for longer than one, occasionally two, dates.
It’s not a nice situation but sadly, we live in a society where judgments are made all too quickly, and all too easily. Rather than wondering why the dates are running away when they find out you have a disability, try asking yourself why you’re not being entirely upfront about the disability in the first place?
Rather than waiting until the first date, or just before it, to drop the bombshell that you are differently-abled, be upfront about it in your internet dating profile page, or make sure you have a photo that shows you in a wheelchair, for example, if you use one.
At least the dates won’t waste your time, turning up for one or two dates, before brushing you off and moving onto someone new.
Seriously applicants only please!
2 – They say they are fine with my disability but whenever I meet new dates, we can’t seem to make it past week three or four!
Is there even the slightest chance that you could be going after the wrong kind of dates?
OK, think about this – if you are a 20-something girl in a wheelchair, that loves to munch out on junk food on Sundays with your loved one, lazing around on the couch, watching bad TV, what are you going to have in common with the 28 year old gym-freak, that hasn’t had a pizza in 6 years, or relaxed in front of the TV in months? He might be really hot, what you have nothing in common.
Maybe you’re just going after the wrong kind of man? Maybe you should try looking at men you wouldn’t normally date? You may find you have so much more in common!
3 – I can’t seem to find an appropriate date-type when I agree to meet a guy from the internet!
Admittedly, sometimes it’s hard having a disability and part of coming to terms with it is the understanding that sometimes, life may go a little differently for you.
The good news is that now, many places are more disability-friendly, making dating for the disabled a whole load easier, but another great tool at your disposal is the internet. You’ll be amazed at what new and fresh ideas will pop up when you Google something like “disabled-friendly date ideas in [your town]”
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3 Best Practices For Disability Dating
If you’re delving into dating for the first time after becoming disabled, or you just haven’t been single in a long time and aren’t sure how to do things anymore, don’t worry. You won’t be destined to spend your life single and alone. You won’t be on the shelf getting dusty forever. You just need to take a minute, breathe, and then make a plan.
One of the best practices for any dating, not just disability dating, is to work out what you want and what you are looking for before you even begin to think about signing up to any internet dating websites.
Are you looking for love? What kind of love? A few-months? Or a lifetime? Do you want a one-night stand, or are you genuinely on the hunt for someone to marry, settle down with, and have kids with, hopefully to carry on happily ever after?
It’s not fair for you to sign up without any clue what you are looking for because not only will you be wasting your own time, you’ll be wasting the time of any dates you get talking to. What’s the point in going after the one-night-stand guy, if you’re looking for someone to fall in love with, and have never particularly enjoyed casual sex anyway? Think about it. Be realistic.
Second best practice for disability dating – just be open about your disability. Sometimes it will get embarrassing, and occasionally, you won’t be able to do things that other couples can do, but that’s just fine. Laugh it off. Develop a sense of humour about your love life as you do about anything else in life, and become a better person because of it.
Negativity isn’t sexy. Neither is wallowing in self pity.
The third and final best practice for disability dating – don’t be an idiot. Don’t think that you deserve better (or worse) treatment just because you are differently-abled, and don’t expect your date to be a mind-reader either. That hot guy that you met last night may have stumbled over his words and said some really stupid things about the fact you were in a wheelchair, or stumbled with your walking stick and bumped into another table, but he’s not necessarily a jerk. He could just be intrigued. Don’t jump to the wrong conclusions – wouldn’t you rather he talked about it and asked questions (regardless of how stupid or inappropriate) than disregarded you entirely just because of it?
If you have things that need to be said, or you don’t like what he just asked you, be open about it. You’ll be amazed at how much of a powerful aphrodisiac real honesty is, and although there are likely to be some bumps in this disability dating road, at least what you’ll have, even if it is just friendship, will be based on honesty and truth rather than something faked or covered up.
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