• Disability Dating Club
    Disabled Dating,  Disabled Person,  Disabled Singles

    Top FAQ’s About Dating A Disabled Person

    As a group of friends, all with a disability, all looking for love, we’ve heard pretty much every question you can think of when it comes to dating a disabled person, and we thought it might be really handy to list them all down to give some of you a helping hand.

    Some of these questions are pretty cringe-evoking, so may we suggest not asking these out loud to prevent causing offence?

    Andrew was asked this question from a girl he was on a second date with – Are you still able to have sex?

    He had multiple sclerosis and occasionally needed to rely on a wheelchair but as far as his manhood was concerned, everything worked pretty well, and he’d had no complaints up until that point. You’d be amazed at how many times that question comes up, and although occasionally the answer will be “no”, more often than not, the question just causes offence. Wait for your date to bring up any problems, it’s not down to you to bring it up.

    Kate was asked this question, just as she was getting ready to go on her first date with a man her best friend had set her up with. He sent her this via text – Doesnt it annoy you that you cant do what your partner is up to all the time, if you date someone that isnt disabled?

    Her answer to this was: No, not until an idiot like you brings it up!

     

    In her eyes, she was just as able to do everything a potential partner could do, despite her restriction of being blind. She had been blind for her entire life, and had learned to live with it in the best way that she could. An active girl, she always had a boyfriend on the go, and for someone to turn around and ask her whether or not she basically felt inadequate because of her disability really ruined her day. She didn’t date for a whole month after that, just out of protest!

    Being really condescending to a disabled person about their disability is something your mother should have taught you is very rude. There is no need for it, and what makes it worse is the fact this guy actually assumed she had more limitations with regards to her disability than she let herself have. Kate had never let being blind getting in the way of her life, love life or otherwise, and for a man to suggest just that really got to her.

    It should teach you a very vital lesson – don’t assume that someone that is disabled can’t do things, and never, ever patronise or condescend them. They are used to getting ‘grief’ because of their disability, and they’ll likely have a killer comeback that’ll leave you looking foolish.

    In short, the best way to master dating a disabled person is to open your mind. Not every disability means that restrictions will be made on your relationship or your love life, and dating a disabled person is no different from dating a regular-abled person. Some of your dates may change, but that’s about it!

  • Disability Dating Sites
    Dating 4 Disabled,  Disabled Dating,  Disabled Dating Club,  Disabled Dating Sites

    How To Find The Right Disabled Dating Websites For You

    Just because you have a disability doesn’t mean that dating isn’t for you. A lot of people find it very difficult come to terms with a sudden disability, and for those that have had theirs since birth, it’s still no easier when it comes to finding a potential new mate. Let’s be honest about this – dating was hard enough to begin with, without throwing in something that adds MORE challenges!

    The good news is that there are some GREAT disabled dating websites out there, and when you sign up to one of these, you are getting the ‘surprise’ element of your disability out the way. You have the chance to meet someone with the same outlook on life as you do, with the same or similar restrictions as you do because of their own disability. When you sign up to a disabled dating website, its pretty clear what you’re going to be getting, so there are no nasty surprises.

     

    There are a couple of things that may sway your thoughts when it comes to finding the right sites for you. Do you want to pay for the site, for example? You can get plain and simple dating sites designed for differently-abled people, and they work in exactly the same way as other ‘regular’ dating sites.

    There are many of these free sites out there, but there’s always the risk of bonkers people messaging you out the blue, either with a fetish for disabled dating, or just someone so weird, you couldn’t face meeting them. There is also a higher chance of getting scammed on these freebie sites, so you must ensure you are protecting yourself and your personal details as much as possible.

    There are some more in-depth disabled dating sites out there; ones that offer agency-style services where you meet up with the organisation, and are matched up with potential partners based on what a REAL person thinks, rather than what a computer puts together. With such a delicate subject as disabled dating, sometimes that little personal touch can make all the difference.

    You’re going to want to make sure that you use a website that is legitimate, and one that keeps your details safe. Always make sure you do some research of your own before signing up to any website, and see what other people have said about it before you join. Most online dating sites, disabled or otherwise, have online reviews somewhere so simply Googling the name of the site followed by the word ‘review’ is enough to give you a lot of the information you need to know. Or better still, check out this wonderful disabled dating reviews web site that we found called Disabled Dating Review.

    Some disabled dating websites give you more options than others, with the chance to play games online, video chat, send gifts (virtual or otherwise) and more. If you’re looking for a website that will do the job of many, these with their relatively inexpensive membership fees aren’t a bad idea. When you have the option of playing games, not everything is about talking, and it gives the perfect chance to check out how competitive you both are!

    If you are looking for niche disabled dating like for deaf dating or wheelchair dating, we recommend Deaf Dating Club and Wheelchair Dating Club. They have been around for many, many years and are well established.

  • Wheelchair Dating
    Disability Dating,  Disabled Dating

    Greatest Challenges of Disability Dating

    One of the greatest challenges that you will face when dating as a disabled person is the confusion and misconceptions surrounding the topic of disability dating as a whole. Its crazy; the bizarre myths that people will believe and even spread, and just as most things in life, when people don’t understand something, they’ll just make up fluff to fill in the gaps.

    That is exactly what has happened with the world of disability dating; a strangely bizarre taboo (still) in a world where we are all meant to be so sexually ‘free’.

    Every part of the dating experience, especially with internet dating, has so many questions attached to it, that it can be hard to know where to find all the answers. For example, how open are you meant to be about your disability? Should you mention it in your profile? Is it that much of a big deal? Do people even care about it?

    Whether or not you disclose details of your disability when looking at internet dating is completely down to you, and is a decision only you can make. However, if it has an impact on your life, and changes the way you do or feel about certain things, it is going to have an impact on any potential suitors that come along, and it will change the way they do or feel about certain things too.

    If you have a missing limb, for example, or rely on a wheelchair or a walking stick to get around, you are not going to be able to go rock-climbing on your first date, and paint-balling probably won’t be a great idea either. You will need to be realistic about your dating life now, and that’s something very difficult to come to terms with if the disability itself is a relatively new one. It’s difficult to go from having two arms, to only having one after a car crash (like Sam, 28 from Kent), and it would be foolish to think that kind of thing wouldn’t have an impact on your dating life.

    If you’re not quite brave enough to physically type the words into that little ‘About Me’ box, take a slightly more subtle approach. If you use a wheelchair sometimes, for example, include a picture of you in the wheelchair in the ‘Images’ section of your profile. This at least gives potential dates the chance to have a conversation with you about it, and also gives them a slight indication of what news could come. Of course disabled dating is going to have some challenges. It wouldn’t be classed as a disability otherwise, would it?

    If you do manage to get over your fears and throw yourself to the little fish in the big disabled dating pond, there are more challenges to come, but these would be the same with any dating situation. That hot guy might not like you face to face, and you aren’t really sure if that one you were talking to last night is as good-looking or as funny as you first thought he was anyway…

    Sadly, that’s dating life in general, not just disabled dating life!  If you fancy a shot, why not check out Disabled Dating Review which has reviews on all the best disability dating websites. Our personal favourite is Disabled Dating Club, which has been around for years.

  • Disabled Dating Club
    Amputee Woman,  Dating 4 Disabled,  Dating For The Disabled,  Disabled Dating

    Dating Tips For Disabled Demystified

    Smart, slightly sexy outfit – check.

    Hair done, with a fresh blow-dry – check.

    Makeup done, a little extra eye-liner added for good measure – check.

    You’re ready for your exciting first date with a new HOT guy, and you’re about to head out the door. Something stops you in your tracks. You’re not sure you want to do this. You’re not sure how he will take you. Will he like you? Will he like your outfit? Do your shoes go with your wheelchair….?

    Dating as a disabled woman is hard work, there is no denying that. With every blind date you set out on, every friend-of-a-friend that you meet up with, you have that bombshell to deal with every time…

    Oh, Kat didnt tell you I was disabled? Well, I am. I have multiple sclerosis, and occasionally I need to use a wheelchair.

    It’s so awkward, isn’t it? Plus your friends don’t make life any easier, do they? They couldn’t have just told this guy he was heading out to indulge in a spot of disabled dating? Really?

     

    If you’ve ever fallen victim to this bad blind-date set up, don’t worry. Check out these dating tips for disabled demystified!

    If you’re being set up on a blind-date, ask for his number, or at least request that he be given yours to arrange the date. At least then you can subtly drop into conversation The restaurant will need to be somewhere wheelchair-friendly in case Im having a bad day so that you can gauge whether or not he knows yet.

    Some men can find a disabled woman an intimidating creature, mostly because they aren’t really sure how to deal with it. They either don’t know, or aren’t sure, and rather than ask (and risk making themselves look stupid), they’d just look the other way and hope that that moment slips away unnoticed. If they look uncomfortable, crack a joke. It gets me out of every dodgy situation every time.

    I once asked one guy why he didnt feel he could date a disabled woman, those were his words by the way, and he responded that he felt I would be too much hard work. He originally tried to blow me off with the sentence I dont know if Im the right guy to take care you” and it made me feel more than a little patronised, if I’m honest. I asked what the real reason was and after a bit of squirming, he finally came out and said it. I’m glad he did, as it made me appreciate something – I would rather be told the truth, as harsh as it would be to hear, than chase after something I thought was real, and wasn’t.

    When a guy feels uncomfortable around me now on a first (or subsequent) date, I simply ask him what he’s thinking, or I tell him what I’m thinking instead. Honesty is very refreshing, and after years of being told there was ‘Nothing wrong’ (stupid ex), I realised that time-wasters are simply people I would have zero interest in.

    If you are looking for a great disabled dating web site that caters for the UK and Europe, check out DisabledDatingClub.eu. It might not look like much, but it has LOADS of wonderful members.

    Get your honesty card out the way, and you’re offering a nice guy a get-out clause if he needs to take it. He might like you, but some people don’t have the capacity to deal with a disability. Wouldn’t you rather he just walked away now?

  • Disabled Dating Tips
    Amputee Woman,  Disability Dates,  Disability Dating,  Disabled Dating Club

    3 Best Practices For Disability Dating

    If you’re delving into dating for the first time after becoming disabled, or you just haven’t been single in a long time and aren’t sure how to do things anymore, don’t worry. You won’t be destined to spend your life single and alone. You won’t be on the shelf getting dusty forever. You just need to take a minute, breathe, and then make a plan.

    One of the best practices for any dating, not just disability dating, is to work out what you want and what you are looking for before you even begin to think about signing up to any internet dating websites.

    Are you looking for love? What kind of love? A few-months? Or a lifetime? Do you want a one-night stand, or are you genuinely on the hunt for someone to marry, settle down with, and have kids with, hopefully to carry on happily ever after?

    It’s not fair for you to sign up without any clue what you are looking for because not only will you be wasting your own time, you’ll be wasting the time of any dates you get talking to. What’s the point in going after the one-night-stand guy, if you’re looking for someone to fall in love with, and have never particularly enjoyed casual sex anyway? Think about it. Be realistic.

    Second best practice for disability dating  – just be open about your disability. Sometimes it will get embarrassing, and occasionally, you won’t be able to do things that other couples can do, but that’s just fine. Laugh it off. Develop a sense of humour about your love life as you do about anything else in life, and become a better person because of it.

    Negativity isn’t sexy. Neither is wallowing in self pity.

    The third and final best practice for disability dating – don’t be an idiot. Don’t think that you deserve better (or worse) treatment just because you are differently-abled, and don’t expect your date to be a mind-reader either. That hot guy that you met last night may have stumbled over his words and said some really stupid things about the fact you were in a wheelchair, or stumbled with your walking stick and bumped into another table, but he’s not necessarily a jerk. He could just be intrigued. Don’t jump to the wrong conclusions – wouldn’t you rather he talked about it and asked questions (regardless of how stupid or inappropriate) than disregarded you entirely just because of it?

    If you have things that need to be said, or you don’t like what he just asked you, be open about it. You’ll be amazed at how much of a powerful aphrodisiac real honesty is, and although there are likely to be some bumps in this disability dating road, at least what you’ll have, even if it is just friendship, will be based on honesty and truth rather than something faked or covered up.